Saturday, February 11, 2012

Four Tips to Stop being so much of a People-Pleaser

Being a people-pleaser is stressful and exhausting. So what is the key? Well, I think it starts with awareness. We need to become aware of who we are trying to please and why. Ask God to reveal this to you as you pray - as though holding a mirror up to your situation.  Once you know who are trying to please and why, you can do something about it. 
FEAR is often at the root of people-pleasing. Think about it. Why are you scared of offending X? What could X do to you if you didn't please them or meet their needs? is X pleased with you even when you are doing what they want?
Here are some tips from author Evelyn Roberts Brooks that may help you stop being a people-pleaser:
1. Start recognizing how often you do everything for everybody else, while ignoring your own dreams and goals 
2. Now that you see your pattern, make your own goals a priority, and do something every day that you like, even if someone else criticizes you for it
3. Learn how to say "no" when you want to say that. This is a biggie for people-pleasers, who have a lifelong habit of saying yes when they are silently screaming "no." Practice saying "no" in less crucial areas of your life and less important matters, and build from there. The practice will give you courage to say no when it's something important.
4. Forgive yourself if you slip into your old ways. You're retraining an old habit and it takes time and persistence.
The key to shifting from being a people-pleaser to a strong, assertive, self-loving person, is to let go of your fear of not being liked or not getting approval.

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